Army of Darkness

SPOILER WARNING

As per my assignment by Cocles this weekend I watched Army of Darkness . I have to start off by saying it was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Now this to me would appear to be a scary movie. Many people tried to convince me that it was just dumb fun and that nothing would jump out at me. (For those of you that don't know me, I hate scary movies with a passion) Well in the first 5 minutes at least twice something scared me enough to want to turn it off. Well, because I promised I would watch it, I continued. It wasn't long before I realized how this movie was not truly scary. I wouldn't call it dumb fun, personally, although I can see how a guy might think so. To me it was like Night of the Living Dead as done by Jimmy Carey, and I just don't like Mr. Carey's type of humor. For starters - anyone would have bled to death after having cut off their hand with a chainsaw. Also, at some point the chainsaw would have ran out of power or gas. Why do guys love Ash so much? Isn't it obvious? He is an arrogant SOB who have women at his beck and call thinking he is king. The dvd we watched had two endings. I prefer the original because to me it is more in keeping Ash in character for once again not having said the words correctly. Although I would have preferred that he decided he loved Sheila so much he stayed there. Since Bruce Campbell is such a hottie, to me it seems they could have found a much more attractive actress to play Sheila. They just didn't go together.

Would I ever watch this again? No way. But at least now I know what they are talking about when they say "S-Mart". I would love to know what other movies out there are 76 minutes long. This is the second movie this month we have watched that was 76 minutes long and they were both terrible. The other?
It was The Triplets of Bellville .

If they make anymore Ash movies, I will not go see them, even if Bruce Campbell is in it.Dumb fun type movies are just not to my liking and this one was definitely a guy flick. But guys when you go to these type movies, how many girls are in the audience? The only thing I can see that came out me watching this, is now I get what they are talking about in chat. Sorry to dissapoint you Cocles, but I didn't really like it. Although I have to admit, I did laugh a couple of times.

Shelob and other scary 8-legged things

My sst bud Graywolf inquired about spiders on his blog recently. I vote he should kill them. Unless your Peter Parker or Miss Spider (from the children's book series Miss Spider...), you are as good as dead if you come anywhere near my house. Especially if you are the spider that keeps building the 12 foot web across my driveway your days are numbered buddy. It was bad enough that two huge spiders (like the ones on gray's site) dropped in on us while watching Spider-Man. They no longer reside at my house, but have joined Shelob in the depths of hell. I care not that people say that spiders keep other bugs away. Well, they haven't been doing such a great job in my yard otherwise I wouldn't keep having to spray for bugs.

As for movie spiders, still just as scary. As much of a Lord of the Rings fan that I am, I did not watch all of the Shelob scene, i barely got through reading it in the book. As a matter of fact, i skip parts of it in the book when re-reading it. Personally, I wish Tolkien would have found some other nemesis for Frodo, but I can always skip that section. And no, Juan, the mechanical spider in Wild Wild West doesn't scare me. Come on, it's not a spider, it's made of metal. Although I am not a fan of scary movies in general, ones with spiders just go over the limits for me.

Oh, and graywolf, here is a place to go to help you with your spider problem. And if that doesn't work call Samwise and see if you can borrow Sting.