Fruits and Nuts

Fruits and Nuts 

It's always puzzled me about the amount of fruits and nuts you see around Christmas time. No, I don't mean the kind that Peaches and Generic Dragon or Cocles and Pixie all have to live with residing in California. I'm talking about apples, oranges, tangelos, walnuts, and pecans. The things that always show up in your stocking that you never really eat, I didn't anyway. Every year, 'Santa' would cram our stocking full of fruits and nuts. And every year I would dump them right back into the bowl they had come from. My mom kept up this tradition with my children because we've always been at their house Christmas.

This year mom's in London, so guess what - the stockings will be filled with lots of real goodies, like chocolates and candies, and craft things (my girls love to make crafts). No fruit, no nuts. Well okay mom, I'll put one apple in each.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Dingus

Dingus 

Well, this blog actually started in my head a couple of weeks ago when I couldn't get to where I was going because of some severly backed up traffic. Lo and behold the traffic which I was sure was due to some major fatal accident, (completely stopped on the interstate) was due to onlookers. The hold up was the Pelham fire department had set a house on fire to practice. This is what was holding up the traffic. I was so aggrevated I was coming home to blog on all the idiots out there when I discovered that Pixie had just blogged on the idiots out in the world. So I was going to let it go. But then last night, I'm out driving around, and I live near the Galleria which is obviously flooded with Christmas shoppers being the only major mall in a town of a million people. So, not being in a hurry and in a good mood, I wave the guy on the side in front of me, not so much as a look my way, a thank you, nothing. Then I try to get out on the major road and dinguses are blocking the interesection. What is it with people, they don't remember the common laws and courtesies taught to them in drivers education? But then I remember that Alabama doesn't even require drivers education to get a license.

Of course there is always the fat ass lazy person blocking the entire lane waiting on the closest spot to the store because they are too lazy to walk a few extra feet. Are they afraid they might burn off some of that Big Mac? What is up with people these days? There seems to be a severe decline in the IQ of people lately. Or is everyone just so self-centered they think they are the only ones out there or that everyone should wait on them?

Get with it people. Get out of your self-centered universe and get with the program.

The Reindeer Myth

The Reindeer Myth 

Okay this is an old one, but I love it every year.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer,EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

And yes, boys it's true